Category: Essays

My wife does not like drinking cold water. She likes her water slightly hot. When we eat out, she would usually ask the waiter or waitress for “warm water.” Sometimes they would get it right but there would be some instances when she would be served lukewarm or tepid water (at room temperature), or very hot water.

I pointed out that some waiters, especially those less proficient in English, probably equated warm with lukewarm and some of them equated warm with hot. So I thought the simplest solution then is to communicate in a way they would understand best. Instead of asking for “warm” water. Ask them for water that’s a bit hot (“medyo mainit” or “mainit-init”).

Then we would just laugh about it.

A lot of disappointments and quarrels in life come from a simple failure to communicate. We insist on doing and saying things our way without considering the other person’s point of view, without thinking of how that person could possibly understand or misunderstand what we say. This is further compounded when the offended party does not try to clarify the situation, but rather stops communicating, and instead moans and complains to his friends about this arrogant fool who has so insulted him — which leads to his friends telling their friends, and so on, until word reaches the other party and then a full-scale war breaks out — a war which would have been easily prevented had one side simply reached out to the other and tried to really listen and understand the other’s point of view.

When I started writing this column a little over a year ago, I was aware that I would be ruffling a lot of religious feathers with my some of my irreverent thoughts. I had been writing long enough to know how people can easily bring their own biases into what they read, or take things out of context, or simply not understand and come to an incorrect conclusion. But such is the curse of writing. If every writer waited until every sentence was perfect, and every word the exact one to use, no writing would ever happen.

Anyway, feathers were indeed ruffled and I heard bits and pieces from here and there, but I was glad when someone approached me and said, “Hey, we would like to hear and understand your side. We can set a time and place for you to just talk and we would just listen and ask clarificatory questions, if any.”

The meeting happened and I was able to make my position clearer (at least I hope so) and I was able to understand what some of them thought of that as well. The result was a clearing of the air and a better sense of respect from both sides.

I do not place much stock in astrology but it seems that my being a Libra always comes out in situations like this. I can go from one extreme to the other, but somewhere along the way, something in me tries to find a sense of balance. When I was a believer, I went beyond being a conservative believer to being a dancing charismatic, and then I began questioning that until I turned my back on belief. Then I went from being a quiet agnostic to openly quoting and supporting “militant” atheists, and now I am beginning to question that as well.

Amid the many texts I have read, I am convinced of one thing — each side accuses the other of not really understanding, of taking things out of context, of creating straw men and fallacious arguments. It takes a lot of time and effort to wade through the various material and try to digest firsthand what is really being said by one side, then the other, and then try to make sense of it.

This column is not about convincing you to believe as I do. It never was. Rather this has been a way for me to organize and verbalize my attempt to search for and synthesize the truth, and I am allowing you to glimpse into my mind and see some of the stuff going on. You are more than welcome to contribute and comment. Hopefully, I’ve given something interesting for you to think about — something worth the few minutes you’ve given to get this far.

Otherwise, what we have is a failure to communicate. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get a glass of warm water.

Originally published in Sunstar Davao.

Email the author at andy@freethinking.me. View previous articles at www.freethinking.me.

There are people who are absolutely convinced that religion does no good, is harmful to people and the best thing to happen would be to eradicate all traces of it from the face of the earth. These are people like Richard Dawkins (author of The God Delusion) and Christopher Hitchens (author of God Is Not Great — How Religion Poisons Everything), and many others in the New Atheist movement. My circle of friends includes a handful who think this way as well.

But not me.

While I myself am currently irreligious, and constantly criticize religion, and read and listen to the aforementioned authors, I cannot deny that my own upbringing in such an environment was beneficial, the greatest of which was meeting a girl in the church choir whom I eventually married.

I do not believe that religion does no good because it has done some good in my own life, as well as in the lives of many of my friends and relatives. I know many people who turned from a life of decadence and crime because of religion. Whatever the personal motivation was (fear of hell, guilt, shame, etc.), the end result was a life lived for the good rather than for destructive ends, and I would take that to be a good thing, all things considered.

So, you may ask, why do I spurn religion?

Before I answer that question, let me tell a story.

There was once a monastery where the head monk saw a stray dog on the road and decided to keep it as a pet. The dog was allowed to roam freely around the place, but it became a big distraction during the monks’ prayer times as it was quite playful and would move around them, licking their faces, climbing on their backs, and so forth.

The head monk then decided to tie the dog up to a post during prayer time. A few years passed and the dog passed away. The monks were so used to having a dog now that they got another one, and continued the practice of tying it to the post during prayer time.

A few years later, the head monk passed away, and a new head monk was chosen. He continued the practice of always having a dog, and having him tied up during prayer time.

A few centuries later, the monastery now attracted tourists because it featured a “prayer dog” in full ceremonial garb who was always present and tied-up during the monks’ prayer time. The monastery even had several volumes of written works extolling the spiritual virtues and benefits of having a dog tied up during prayer. Visitors were invited to put a few coins in a collection box near the dog — for good health and good fortune.

In a similar fashion, religion was originally a way for people to seek truth and meaning in life. In a very short while, however, it was no longer that. It became a vehicle to maintain and propagate beliefs. In the worst cases, it became a tool used to manipulate and exploit people. Most religious institutions do not really help people seek the truth. Instead, they claim to have already found it and their task now is to indoctrinate those who enter their doors to follow their teachings, their scriptures, their methods, their ways.

I remember sitting through a sermon many years ago where the pastor challenged the congregation to “seek the truth.” That woke me up. I was pumped, for around 2 seconds, because he repeated the phrase with an addendum, “Seek the truth, but don’t stray too far from the Bible,” and that totally deflated me. This was not an honest challenge. It was a rigged game. You cannot tell a person to seek anything and then put a leash around his neck.

It was not long after that when I turned my back on religion, but I realize this path is not for everyone. Many people are happy where they are, singing their hallelujahs or bowed on their prayer mats. My task is not to make everyone irreligious like me for then I would be guilty of the same indoctrination I so abhor. I simply aim to clarify and share the things I discovered along the way. If you happen to be on the same path as I am and find my stories helpful, I’m glad to have been of help. If not, well, it was nice meeting you anyway.

Originally published in Sunstar Davao.

Are you religious or irreligious? Share your story with me at andy@freethinking.me. View previous articles at www.freethinking.me.

Which is more important — the mass or thirty million dollars?

When Manila Archbishop Luis Antonio Tagle asked this question to a young audience, he was reportedly bothered when a good number of them chose 30 million dollars. He then proceeded to chastise them, saying how easy it was for them to exchange God for money, and so on.

When he related the story in his homily during Palm Sunday, he asked the audience the same question, to which they answered, “the mass,” though I highly doubt the sincerity of that response.

If the good cardinal was bothered about the initial reply, I am bothered that he asked such an inane question in the first place, and all the more bothered at the hypocrisy of his response.

Why so? Well, Tagle speaks from a position of privilege. He is head, after all, of an organization that owns vast tracts of land and has billions of pesos invested in publicly-listed corporations like BPI, Ayala Corporation, San Miguel Corporation, and so on. He probably does not have to worry where his next meal will come from, or what clothes to wear. He sleeps at night with a comfortable bed under him and a good roof over his head.

The question is a setup. It is designed for guilt-tripping.

While I talked about this with a friend, he said, “Why don’t we turn the tables around and ask him, ‘What is more important? Your stock holdings, your properties, and your public stature or saying the mass?’”

And if he responds that the mass is more important, then ask him why he and his church still clings tightly to its riches and grandeur while telling its flock to give up the same.

30 million dollars is not a paltry sum. It is around 1.3 billion pesos. It is more money than over 95% of our population will ever see. Invested wisely, this sum can literally turn people’s lives around and ensure their future for years to come.

Yet here is this very influential person, admonishing his flock for choosing a very real answer to their very real problems in exchange for a ceremony invented by men to appease and adore their deity. If I were that deity, I’d give that priest a smack on his head because if there is anything that people should learn, it is not to deify their rituals, but to see reality as it is and to live in the here and now, not in some future reality that they’re not even sure of. Would I be offended if some poor sap choose money over some ritual for me? Of course not. I do not lose any of my godhood whether or not people attend mass, yet that person stands to lose a lot if he doesn’t take the money.

I think one of the reasons why such a large percentage of our population is poor is this perverse brainwashing by our religion and by our culture that to desire money is somehow evil, and that to suffer is somehow good (the martyr syndrome). This is why we meekly bow and suck up to abusive leaders and officials. This kind of thinking has to stop.

I have a number of friends who came from poverty and worked their way into comfortable wealth. They tell me that they had problems when they were poor, and they still had problems when they were rich. The problems do not disappear. But every one of them said they would rather have problems while they are rich rather than have problems while they are poor.

Yes, I understand that money is not everything and cannot solve everything, but it certainly is something and it can solve a few things (of course, the more you have, the more you can solve). Now, the thirty million dollar question for the bishop is — in very real and practical terms, what problem does your mass solve?

And please don’t answer “eternal life.” Your most brilliant theologians would probably roll their eyes at that answer.

Originally published in Sunstar Davao.

Andy Uyboco enjoys mass only in physics equations. Contact him at andy@freethinking.me. View previous articles at www.freethinking.me.

The road to truth is a lonely one.

The road is full of twists and turns, numerous forks, and curious bends that invite you to put your foot to them. You meet fellow travellers along the way. You get along with some and enjoy their company but you also meet those whom you can’t wait to get rid of. But sooner or later, you have to part ways. Either they decide to take a different path, or you do.

Of course, there is always the option to stay where you are and make yourself believe that you have found what you were looking for. You make camp (or discover one) and decide that you like it there, and you begin to get others to join you. You create all sorts of rationalizations and reasons why your camp is the best and why all the others have got it wrong. Of course, that’s what those in the other camps are doing as well.

Pretty soon, a good number of you are embroiled in squabbles and arguments and debates. There is a lot of anger and insults thrown about left and right,  and you forget that this all began as a journey, not a war, which it has become. And the way to progress in this journey is not to be content in staying where you are and protecting your camp but to actually move on and keep walking the path, and to keep seeking. The camper digs his heels in and defends his territory. The true seeker is ready to pack up and follow wherever truth leads.

If you are still wondering what in the world I am talking about, let me make it plain — I am talking about the “war” between theists and atheists — those who believe in God and those who don’t.

As I walked the path from theism to atheism, I discovered a lot of material to digest. I read articles and books. I watched debates and listened to different podcasts. I also got to meet and talk to a lot of people and get different ideas.

One thing I found out was that both sides had their share of cheerers and jeerers. These were the noisy ones, the ones who get noticed the most, who post provocative and challenging statements on social media to grab attention. It is easy to get drawn by them (whichever side you’re on) and I’ll admit that I enjoyed being one of them for a time. It was fun cheering your side and jeering the other side.

But then I woke up and remembered how I got to this side in the first place. I was seeking the truth, not auditioning for a cheering squad. I don’t regret having done those things or having gone through them as they were important parts of the process, but I believe I’m on to something deeper now.

A friend of mine has made me realize that in my writings and discussions, I may not have been addressing the best arguments for theism. He managed to convince me of this and now I am halfway through a book that he recommended, even if I have to struggle with some of the concepts since philosophy is not really my forte and I still have painful memories of having to repeat a class because of a failing grade I got.

Theists tend to read books written by fellow theists and atheists tend to read books written by fellow atheists. While this has some value, I think it is of utmost importance that each side should read the other sides books as well, and with an open and humble attitude — not merely with the intent of punching holes in them. It is also important to read what are considered the best works of both sides, in order to really get the strongest arguments and thus be able to evaluate them better.

Now, of course, campers are afraid of this because there is always the chance that their numbers will be reduced because of those who will be swayed to the other side. Yet, truth often demands that you make the journey from one camp to the other, and still to another. A theist pursues his doubts which leads him to be an atheist. But it is very possible for the atheist now to have doubts and thus return to being a theist, or something else altogether.

The camper is content to select one side and entrench himself there, but the true seeker does not allow himself to be trapped, and is willing to reconsider and doubt whatever is his current position. A true seeker is not attached to labels but is relentless in his pursuit of truth. In the end, I do not aim to be a staunch defender of theism, atheism, agnosticism or whatever. I only aim for the truth, whatever it is, and wherever it may bring me.

Originally published in Sunstar Davao.

Andy Uyboco likes hide and seek. Contact him at andy@freethinking.me. View previous articles at www.freethinking.me.