The master heard that a doctor of theology had come to visit.
“A doctor of what? Theology?” said the master. “Now that sounds like a very serious disease.”
Doctor of Theology
Peace
One day, the master walked past a Christian church where the preacher was denouncing Islam.
Later, he passed by an Islamic mosque where the imam was denouncing Judaism.
Still later, he passed a Jewish temple where the rabbi was denouncing Christianity.
“Ah,” sighed the master to his disciples, “If only these religious idiots would practice the love, acceptance and tolerance they all preach, there would be peace and no need of any religion.”
Silence is not the absence of sound
One day, the master and his disciples sat in silent meditation in the monastery.
Suddenly, a loud clatter rang through the halls as the cook’s assistant tripped and dropped a number of empty pans he was bringing to the kitchen.
The disciples were all disturbed from their meditation and expressed their irritation by muttering and frowning. But when they looked at the master, he seemed as relaxed and calm as ever.
“How could you maintain your silence and meditation amidst the noise a while ago?” asked a few disciples later.
The master replied, “You must understand, my friends, that silence is not the absence of sound. Silence is the absence of self.”
Materialism
The master passed by a minister preaching against materialism. He was exhorting the congregation on the virtues of sacrificing their earthly desires for the rewards of heaven.
“Our treasure does not lie here on earth,” he said, “But it lies in the bosom of our heavenly Father.”
“Interesting,” remarked the master. “You preach against materialism but yours is even worse because you desire to bring it to the next life. You tell people not to cling to their possessions here by guaranteeing that they will have all those and more in the next life. You are after intangible rewards, but a reward nonetheless. What is so virtuous about that?”
Where are you going?
The master lived in a dictatorial country where the political leaders were corrupt and the military was abusive.
Every morning, the master would go out of his house and head to the nearby field where there was a large tree. He would sit under the tree and meditate in the shade.
One day, a policeman intercepted the master and said, “Where are you going?”
“I don’t know,” replied the master.
“You’re lying. I have watched you every day for the last two weeks. You go to that field and sit under the tree. Since you are lying to me, you are obviously up to no good.” So the policeman arrested him and put him in jail to await questioning. As the policeman locked the jail door and turned to walk away, the master called out to him, “See what I mean when I told you a while ago that I didn’t know where I was going?”