Funny Signs

In our country, English is a borrowed language, and it is often evident in the signs we see around us. I have compiled a short list of funny signs that I have seen around the city and other parts of the country. Enjoy and have fun.

1. Outside a hotel: Wanted front desk (female). Apply Inside.
2. Store sign: Junmar’s Antiques – We make antiques while you wait.
3. On a kalesa: Horse Power – Four Feet Drive.
4. On a tow truck: Street Hooker.
5. At a restaurant: Wanted – Boy Waitress. Applied now at Aling Manang’s itiry.
6. In a menu: Hamen Egg, Hamen Chiz, Hamen Eggen Chiz.
7. At a furniture shop: Setting here is not allowed (Bawal umupo dito).
8. At a fruit stand: Saging P30 (Banana Flavor).
9. At a gate: Entrance Only. Do Not Enter.
10. On a highway: Don’t stick your elbow out too far. It might go home in another car.
11. Outside a store: Win a free ride in a police car just by shoplifting in this store.
12. At a construction site: Hard Hot Area.
13. Graffiti: Vandalism is an art but when you caught, it’s a crime.
14. At a sari-sari store: We load Smart, Glove, Sun.
15. Store Name: Holy House of Drugs.
16. Outside a bar: Notice – Our bar is presently not open because it is closed.
17. Store Name: Kosh Kosh Ayosh Laundry Shop.
18. Along EDSA: Bawal Tumawid – May Namatay Na Dito.
19. On a road: Road is temporarily closed for erection.
20. Store sign: Accept order – Retiner (Bres sa ngipon).
21. At a repair shop: We Repiar – Reprigeretor, Electrect Pan, Oben Tooster, Plat Iron
22. In Divisoria: Sale – Bed Cover and Bed Shit.
23. Store sign: Put A Henna Mo Tattoo.
24. At a resort: Our guest please do not inter if you wet body with dress and short to this way left side and right side go to bathroom.
25. At a resort: Only 3 piece swimsuits allowed – hat, sunglasses, sandals.
26. On a door: Caution Door Opens.
27. At a dormitory: Please try to do your laundry like a daytime, not a midnite because the laundry make too much noise at nite.
28. At a school: School Free Drug Zone Enforced.
29. Sign at PICC toilet: Report leaking faucets immediately (A faucet leak saves 15 gals. a day).
30. At an appliance store: Nova DVD component with sub-wooper.

Woop! Woop!

Originally published in Sunstar Davao.

Andy Uyboco is a businessman by profession and an educator by obsession. You may email him at andy@freethinking.me. View previous articles at www.freethinking.me.