Killing Joy

When my daughter was in kindergarten, she was often praised for being sociable. Her classroom was a Montessori-type setup where kids were free to roam around and choose different corners where they would play with whatever materials were there. Her teachers would commend her for being helpful towards her classmates, and she would often be found surrounded by friends. She enjoyed going to school.

When she stepped into Grade 1, the environment changed into a more traditional setup with rows of chairs facing the whiteboard. We noticed a gradual shift in her attitude towards school, and one of her teachers complained that she was too talkative.

It was at that moment when I had a first real encounter of what was wrong with school. It takes what is natural and attempts to cage it, all in the name of “molding” and “shaping” the child into what he ought to be.

Little Johnny loved to draw. He would get “oohs” and “aahs” from his parents, grandparents, uncles, aunties, and pre-school teachers who encouraged and commended him for his creativity and imagination. How bewildering it must have been for him, when he stepped into the “big school,” that he was now being reprimanded for what had previously garnered praise.  “Johnny, stop drawing and listen to teacher explain the different kinds of rocks!” Then he gets his notebook back after the teacher has inspected it and finds that he has been deducted points for neatness because he doodled on it.

Little Ella enjoyed dancing. She could dance the whole day. She would copy moves from videos she watched. She would make costumes with colored paper. She would gather her friends and choreograph moves. She was a hit at family gatherings and parties. Her kindergarten teachers loved her, especially during special events, because she would readily volunteer to dance. But now that she was a bit older, she doesn’t understand why her teachers keep insisting that she sit still for hours, listening, copying, writing. She would often just fidget and daydream in her seat, and would often get scolded for not paying attention.

“Perhaps, you should have a doctor check on Ella,” said the teacher to her parents. “She might have ADHD.”

How many stories like these have we heard? How many more go untold because we as adults don’t listen, or just shrug our shoulders and say, “Well, that’s how it is,” or “Hey, I survived that. Grow a spine!”

For a lot of kids, the joy of learning, of being curious, is killed at school. What’s worse is that some even develop apathy or downright aversion towards it. Many teens are now suffering from stress or burnout, and perhaps one of the greatest reasons was articulated by Dr. Peter Gray:

Over the past several decades we’ve continuously increased the amount of time that children spend at school, and at schoolwork at home, and at school-like activities outside of school. We’ve turned childhood into a time of résumé building.”

My daughter is almost going to college now. She has spent the past two years of her life out of school. She took a homeschool program, but she’s also had a lot of time to explore what she wants. She can edit videos like a pro. In fact, she already has several paid projects under her belt. She can create digital designs and illustrations. She likes to bake too. She creates amazing cookies and revel bars and has already sold a lot of those. Her former classmates (aside from her grandparents and aunts) are her most loyal customers. She just shows up in school with her products and she’s almost guaranteed to sell out all of them by the end of the day.

I don’t regret taking her out of school. I think she has learned much more than had she stayed there.

Originally published in Sunstar Davao.

Email me at andy@freethinking.me. View previous articles at www.freethinking.me.